That could have been better.
Oh well.
G'night!
7.24.2010
6.21.2010
The longest day of the year
They say today is the longest day.
I believe it too
It's what They say.
I spent time with my tears today.
I needed to.
They have a lot to say.
I've hurt the ones who care about me.
I know they still care
But I don't make it easy.
This hurt is enough.
This pain is enough.
I don't know how I've kept it up, but I'm done.
I am going to end this garbage. Things are going to change.
I swear it Will be so.
I believe it too
It's what They say.
I spent time with my tears today.
I needed to.
They have a lot to say.
I've hurt the ones who care about me.
I know they still care
But I don't make it easy.
This hurt is enough.
This pain is enough.
I don't know how I've kept it up, but I'm done.
I am going to end this garbage. Things are going to change.
I swear it Will be so.
6.20.2010
She deserves so much more.
Tiny Tawney Dancer or Tiny, as she was generally known, was a beautiful desert sand colored chihuahua.
She lived for nearly 17 years and went to places that I have never been.
She went to Alaska.
I've never been there.
She went to the top of my head.
I've never been there either.
She dug deep into the hearts of my grandparents and myself.
It turns out that there were holes in there that she filled perfectly.
I got to say goodbye last Sunday.
I caressed her.
I told her that it was ok for her to go now.
...
...
...
It still hurts that she's gone.
She lived for nearly 17 years and went to places that I have never been.
She went to Alaska.
I've never been there.
She went to the top of my head.
I've never been there either.
She dug deep into the hearts of my grandparents and myself.
It turns out that there were holes in there that she filled perfectly.
I got to say goodbye last Sunday.
I caressed her.
I told her that it was ok for her to go now.
...
...
...
It still hurts that she's gone.
R.I.P. Tiny Tawney Dancer
My dog died on Thursday.
I found out today.
She was very special.
I might not be here today if she had not been there then.
I found out today.
She was very special.
I might not be here today if she had not been there then.
3.19.2010
1.08.2010
The sun yet shines
So it seems that Steve may have a fair chance at recovery.
One of my other co-workers who knows Steve outside work went to visit Steve. And he plans to continue to visit daily in the short term. He'll adapt his schedule as Steve improves.
But the good news is that Steve has been able to raise his right leg so that his foot is 8-10 inches off the bed. Also he was able to clearly say a couple of simple words, and with damage to the left hemisphere of the brain that is fantastic progress.
Fight on Steve.
Today at work a couple of the women went and got a card for Steve. And a small gift. And they said they were collecting donations.
Around Christmas all of us got $10 gift cards for gas from work. Everyone who still had one pulled it out and gave it away.
Then there was the cash. By the time the collecting was done there was over $300 collected. I didn't say anything at work, but my contribution was a Christmas present.
Every year I get $100 from Grandma. Normally I use it to buy something fun or functional. A game, a toy, clothes, etc. but I hadn't figured out what to do with it yet this year. Then came Steve's situation. My signature went on his card and my $100 bill went into the donations.
Then as several of us co-workers were chatting we realized that Steve had some good pictures of his kids on his cube and we should try to get them to his bedside. I remembered that I had a picture frame in my drawer. (Strange right? See, I'm a packrat. The frame was from 2 or 3 years ago. It had a small demotivational image and caption in it. I didn't want it on my desk anymore, but I wanted to keep it at work, so I put it in my drawer. If you don't like that you can just......) So we took the best pictures he had of his kids and we put them in the frame to send to him with the card, the cards, the money... and the love.
It will help.
I just know it.
One of my other co-workers who knows Steve outside work went to visit Steve. And he plans to continue to visit daily in the short term. He'll adapt his schedule as Steve improves.
But the good news is that Steve has been able to raise his right leg so that his foot is 8-10 inches off the bed. Also he was able to clearly say a couple of simple words, and with damage to the left hemisphere of the brain that is fantastic progress.
Fight on Steve.
Today at work a couple of the women went and got a card for Steve. And a small gift. And they said they were collecting donations.
Around Christmas all of us got $10 gift cards for gas from work. Everyone who still had one pulled it out and gave it away.
Then there was the cash. By the time the collecting was done there was over $300 collected. I didn't say anything at work, but my contribution was a Christmas present.
Every year I get $100 from Grandma. Normally I use it to buy something fun or functional. A game, a toy, clothes, etc. but I hadn't figured out what to do with it yet this year. Then came Steve's situation. My signature went on his card and my $100 bill went into the donations.
Then as several of us co-workers were chatting we realized that Steve had some good pictures of his kids on his cube and we should try to get them to his bedside. I remembered that I had a picture frame in my drawer. (Strange right? See, I'm a packrat. The frame was from 2 or 3 years ago. It had a small demotivational image and caption in it. I didn't want it on my desk anymore, but I wanted to keep it at work, so I put it in my drawer. If you don't like that you can just......) So we took the best pictures he had of his kids and we put them in the frame to send to him with the card, the cards, the money... and the love.
It will help.
I just know it.
1.07.2010
There is no joy in Mudville.
There might not be any joy anywhere.
I started the job I work in 8.5 years ago.
For the first 4 years my cube neighbor was Steve.
Then work moved and he wasn't my neighbor anymore.
Then 3 years later he became my neighbor again.
He has been my neighbor for the last 1.5 years.
Today I found out that he is very sick.
He had bleeding in his brain.
He had a stroke.
If he's older than 40, it can't be by much.
As far as I know he is conscious.
And minimally responsive.
Paralyzed on his right side.
He is divorced but has primary custody of his son (5) and daughter (13?).
His father is in treatment for cancer.
Money was tight.
Why?
Why does the world have to be so cruel.
Here we have a man trying as hard as he can to take care of his kids...
And he is struck down.
Regardless of how this all ends... His life changed forever yesterday.
He will never be the same.
I want to say it's not fair.
But I already know that this world isn't fair.
Sometimes I wish I believed in a god so I could blame someone for this.
Impotent rage is just so useless.
I started the job I work in 8.5 years ago.
For the first 4 years my cube neighbor was Steve.
Then work moved and he wasn't my neighbor anymore.
Then 3 years later he became my neighbor again.
He has been my neighbor for the last 1.5 years.
Today I found out that he is very sick.
He had bleeding in his brain.
He had a stroke.
If he's older than 40, it can't be by much.
As far as I know he is conscious.
And minimally responsive.
Paralyzed on his right side.
He is divorced but has primary custody of his son (5) and daughter (13?).
His father is in treatment for cancer.
Money was tight.
Why?
Why does the world have to be so cruel.
Here we have a man trying as hard as he can to take care of his kids...
And he is struck down.
Regardless of how this all ends... His life changed forever yesterday.
He will never be the same.
I want to say it's not fair.
But I already know that this world isn't fair.
Sometimes I wish I believed in a god so I could blame someone for this.
Impotent rage is just so useless.
12.19.2009
Avatar is fantastic
I went to see Avatar today.
It's the first of the new generation of 3D movies that I have seen.
First off, this new 3D technology is really good. It took maybe 10-15 minutes for me to convince my brain to stop trying to focus my eyes for depth and keep them in 2D focus. After that the 3D effects were truly amazing. They didn't use the 3D as some novelty very often. Mostly it just allowed me to feel as though the whole movie was just more real. I even tried to dodge a few things that came flying out of the screen. Awesome.
Beyond the 3D, I really enjoyed the movie. It drew me in and I found myself getting quite tense when the good guys were struggling. The whole thing seemed believable and despite the use of quite a few good guy versus bad guy and heroic love story cliches I found myself totally engrossed.
The world of Avatar is lush, beautiful, and alien. I could criticize some of it, but instead I think I would prefer to simply enjoy it.
So to sum up...
If you have the chance, go see Avatar on a big screen in 3D.
Even if the story lets you down and you find flaws in the plot, it is worth seeing this world in it's full glory.
It is definitely worth the price of admission.
Mr. W out!
It's the first of the new generation of 3D movies that I have seen.
First off, this new 3D technology is really good. It took maybe 10-15 minutes for me to convince my brain to stop trying to focus my eyes for depth and keep them in 2D focus. After that the 3D effects were truly amazing. They didn't use the 3D as some novelty very often. Mostly it just allowed me to feel as though the whole movie was just more real. I even tried to dodge a few things that came flying out of the screen. Awesome.
Beyond the 3D, I really enjoyed the movie. It drew me in and I found myself getting quite tense when the good guys were struggling. The whole thing seemed believable and despite the use of quite a few good guy versus bad guy and heroic love story cliches I found myself totally engrossed.
The world of Avatar is lush, beautiful, and alien. I could criticize some of it, but instead I think I would prefer to simply enjoy it.
So to sum up...
If you have the chance, go see Avatar on a big screen in 3D.
Even if the story lets you down and you find flaws in the plot, it is worth seeing this world in it's full glory.
It is definitely worth the price of admission.
Mr. W out!
10.12.2009
Welcome to... Late Nite With... ME!
I should have gone to bed just now. But that's not what I did.
IT SNOWED AGAIN TODAY!!!
It would have been 2 or 3 inches if it was actually cold enough for snow. As it is I got to see trees with green leaves covered in snow. And drooping. Snow is heavy for a leafy tree.
I was reminded to come and write by the song I was listening to. It was "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues".
It said, "Goddamn right it's a beautiful day." And I was reminded that I found this snowy early October day to be one goddamn beautiful day.
I thought I should share.
37 isn't really that cold.
IT SNOWED AGAIN TODAY!!!
It would have been 2 or 3 inches if it was actually cold enough for snow. As it is I got to see trees with green leaves covered in snow. And drooping. Snow is heavy for a leafy tree.
I was reminded to come and write by the song I was listening to. It was "Mr. E's Beautiful Blues".
It said, "Goddamn right it's a beautiful day." And I was reminded that I found this snowy early October day to be one goddamn beautiful day.
I thought I should share.
37 isn't really that cold.
10.11.2009
Bleach on Adult Swim
For those who may not know:
Adult Swim is what cartoon network is called after 9 or 10pm (depending on your timezone).
Bleach is an anime series that airs at 11:30pm and 12am central on Saturday.
It ends in a cliffhanger most of the time. It did again tonight. So, just to vent. And not because anyone cares or even knows what I'm saying...
THE QUINCY HAS A SWORD!!!! HE IS GONNA KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!!
Next week is going to rock.
Adult Swim is what cartoon network is called after 9 or 10pm (depending on your timezone).
Bleach is an anime series that airs at 11:30pm and 12am central on Saturday.
It ends in a cliffhanger most of the time. It did again tonight. So, just to vent. And not because anyone cares or even knows what I'm saying...
THE QUINCY HAS A SWORD!!!! HE IS GONNA KICK SO MUCH ASS!!!!
Next week is going to rock.
10.10.2009
What was that?
SNOW!
We got our first snow last night!
Woohooo! The world of white draws near once again!
It was just a light snowfall, and it only lasted a few hours into the daytime but it was snow!
Exciting!
We got our first snow last night!
Woohooo! The world of white draws near once again!
It was just a light snowfall, and it only lasted a few hours into the daytime but it was snow!
Exciting!
9.25.2009
Oldboy
Oldboy is a S. Korean movie.
I watch quite a few movies from Japan, China and Korea.
But this one was a stand-out.
I really liked it, but I had no idea what I was getting into.
It was described as a story of revenge. And that is true to a point. But there is so much more to it. The revenge part is mostly relegated to the first third or half. Then it moves on to other topics. While revenge is still a driving force, there is more. And I would say it is deeply disturbing.
Sexual taboos are difficult things to deal with, and they play a large part in the resolution of this story. Although I had guessed correctly what one would be, I was not prepared for the other.
At the end I found myself sitting quietly for several minutes considering what I had just seen. I realized that I would be thinking about what I saw for quite some time. And I have been.
I have found that I can't stop telling people about it. Not in detail, but in a way similar to how I described it above. It seems to be living in my head. If you want to know what I'm talking about, it is available from Netflix. But fair warning, the revenge part does get somewhat bloody, and the rest... Well, it is very well done, but I would say that it is not easy to watch sometimes.
I love movies like this. But damn... I kinda wish I had been warned.
Thanks Ryan.
I watch quite a few movies from Japan, China and Korea.
But this one was a stand-out.
I really liked it, but I had no idea what I was getting into.
It was described as a story of revenge. And that is true to a point. But there is so much more to it. The revenge part is mostly relegated to the first third or half. Then it moves on to other topics. While revenge is still a driving force, there is more. And I would say it is deeply disturbing.
Sexual taboos are difficult things to deal with, and they play a large part in the resolution of this story. Although I had guessed correctly what one would be, I was not prepared for the other.
At the end I found myself sitting quietly for several minutes considering what I had just seen. I realized that I would be thinking about what I saw for quite some time. And I have been.
I have found that I can't stop telling people about it. Not in detail, but in a way similar to how I described it above. It seems to be living in my head. If you want to know what I'm talking about, it is available from Netflix. But fair warning, the revenge part does get somewhat bloody, and the rest... Well, it is very well done, but I would say that it is not easy to watch sometimes.
I love movies like this. But damn... I kinda wish I had been warned.
Thanks Ryan.
Justice!
Every day as I drive back and forth to work I go through this one little intersection where U-turns are not allowed. There are signs posted and everything. But lots of times I see people making U-turns there. Every time I see it I think, "Stupid jerk, obey the signs! You could have made a legal U-turn in about 100 yards."
But today...
Today on my way home I saw another person make that illegal U-turn. This time there was an unmarked police car right there to see it happen! The officer totally pulled that car over! And I laughed! I laughed and laughed and laughed!!! JUSTICE! I don't know if they got a ticket, but it certainly was satisfying.
TAKE THAT SUCKA!!!!!
But today...
Today on my way home I saw another person make that illegal U-turn. This time there was an unmarked police car right there to see it happen! The officer totally pulled that car over! And I laughed! I laughed and laughed and laughed!!! JUSTICE! I don't know if they got a ticket, but it certainly was satisfying.
TAKE THAT SUCKA!!!!!
9.23.2009
Just breathe
"Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both hands, the ones I love.
Some folks just have one, oh others they have none. Uh huh."
-- Pearl Jam
Some folks just have one, oh others they have none. Uh huh."
-- Pearl Jam
So good
Life has been good recently.
My sister has asked me for a big favor. I've never cared for a child in diapers before, but she has asked me to possibly be the one to care for my niece while my nephew is being born. I'm honored. And scared.
Work has been especially satisfying lately. It seems like I have been able to contribute more than usual. That is awesome.
Also I have been dreaming like crazy. Lots of strange or disturbing dreams. But that's good! Dreams mean I am sleeping well, and that has been a problem for me sometimes.
It also probably means that I'm anxious. Understandably so if I have to take care of my little niece all alone. Thanks sis.
And Pearl Jam is talking to me again.
"If something's lost, I wanna get it back again."
I do.
And I will.
I will get it back again.
My sister has asked me for a big favor. I've never cared for a child in diapers before, but she has asked me to possibly be the one to care for my niece while my nephew is being born. I'm honored. And scared.
Work has been especially satisfying lately. It seems like I have been able to contribute more than usual. That is awesome.
Also I have been dreaming like crazy. Lots of strange or disturbing dreams. But that's good! Dreams mean I am sleeping well, and that has been a problem for me sometimes.
It also probably means that I'm anxious. Understandably so if I have to take care of my little niece all alone. Thanks sis.
And Pearl Jam is talking to me again.
"If something's lost, I wanna get it back again."
I do.
And I will.
I will get it back again.
9.20.2009
"I got some if you need it"
Pearl Jam just released a new album!
It's called Backspacer.
AWESOME!
So far I love it.
It also occurred to me that I've been listening to them for nearly 20 years.
Wow.
From age 13 to 32.
Their music has been there for me the whole time. Giving me ideas. Giving me support. Asking for nothing but giving so much.
It's even strange to me how much they mean to me. How is it that people I've never met can play such a large part in my life?
I don't know... but I'm really glad that they've done what they've done.
Thank you Pearl Jam.
It's called Backspacer.
AWESOME!
So far I love it.
It also occurred to me that I've been listening to them for nearly 20 years.
Wow.
From age 13 to 32.
Their music has been there for me the whole time. Giving me ideas. Giving me support. Asking for nothing but giving so much.
It's even strange to me how much they mean to me. How is it that people I've never met can play such a large part in my life?
I don't know... but I'm really glad that they've done what they've done.
Thank you Pearl Jam.
9.01.2009
8.31.2009
The long story...
Whether you've seen the picture or not... the damaged toe in the picture below was caused by a momentary distraction.
So, I have a sliding door.
It turns out that with a bit of ingenuity this door will support 2 window fans.
One on the bottom, one on the top.
The one on the top is held in place by a bar that holds the sliding door tight against the fan.
On August 28th I was putting the fans in place as I have done dozens of times before.
Then...
A MOMENTARY DISTRACTION!!!
And smash.
The fan fell 4 feet on to... my... foot.
Specifically the second toe on my right foot.
After a silent scream and nearly passing out twice I got the blood to stop dripping and everything was wrapped up in tissues and socks.
Now I suffer as I recover.
But today went well, and the toe hurts less every day.
But still...
Seriously...
ouch
So, I have a sliding door.
It turns out that with a bit of ingenuity this door will support 2 window fans.
One on the bottom, one on the top.
The one on the top is held in place by a bar that holds the sliding door tight against the fan.
On August 28th I was putting the fans in place as I have done dozens of times before.
Then...
A MOMENTARY DISTRACTION!!!
And smash.
The fan fell 4 feet on to... my... foot.
Specifically the second toe on my right foot.
After a silent scream and nearly passing out twice I got the blood to stop dripping and everything was wrapped up in tissues and socks.
Now I suffer as I recover.
But today went well, and the toe hurts less every day.
But still...
Seriously...
ouch
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